Poetry in Lotion

As you undoubtedly know, millions of Americans enjoy reading in the shower each morning. I think we can all attest that curling up with a good book in the shower is both relaxing and a great way to get ready for the day. Be it a novel, magazine, colorful brochure even the occasional users manual, a good read as the gentle soaking maelstrom of soapy warm water rinses off the previous evenings filth prepares us for the workday ahead. Well folks, tomorrow morning do yourself a favor, put down that Jane Austin, Steven King, That Irish Guy who Writes about his Shitty Childhood, or that Chick Whose Books are all Becoming Movies and pick up one of the bottles of shampoo, conditioner or body lotion that undoubtedly collects that black fungus on the shelf in your shower and give it a good read. I guarantee that the prose found there will make your spirit soar as on eagles wings! Consider the words that greeted me this morning: "Gentle effervescence caresses you in a silky embrace while an intoxicating mixture of Japanese herbs work to exfoliate dead cells leaving you feeling smooth and sexy." Now, I like to think I'm all man, but let me tell you, those words leapt off the bottle and forever pierced my heart. I never could have imagined that a bottle could know me so well. I wept. I laughed.
I repeated.