The following report is poised to rock both the auto and fashion industries to their very foundations! For more than 2 decades the Society for the Preservation of Absurdities and her sister organization, The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) have been involved in a 25 year longitudinal study and we are ready to release our findings:
1.) When women wear seat belts with a shoulder strap it makes their breasts look fantastic.
2.) This phenomena shows no bias to race, weight or breast size. (see note 1)
Tangentially, women with small to tiny breasts who chose to wear a seatbelt with a shoulder strap have reported a 3.5% increase in so called 'stare times' while stuck in traffic while bustier members from the same cohort report a smaller 2.8% increase in 'stare time'.
3.) This phenomena is not shared by men with gynecomastia. (see note 2)
NOTES
1 This effect is less obvious regarding women in the third trimester of pregnancy even controlling for the increase in breast size.
2 These data were corroborated by a parallel study reported in American Journal of Truck Driving Medicine
The Society has just begun recruiting male volunteers to participate in a study to understand the rate at which flatulence in a sealed automobile is dissipated. Look for the results in June of 2033.
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